How Life Coaching Transformed My Life

How I felt before life coaching:

After my surgery and before my amazing life coach appeared in my life I felt life was not worth living anymore. The chronic pain had taken such a toll on my physical state as well as mental wellbeing that I felt I had nothing left to give and nothing to live for.

I felt resentful for people taking me for granted and I comfort ate and used unhealthy habits to alleviate stress. I thought I had to constantly put on a brave face and be strong all the time despite the unbearable agony I was in. I felt like I had been often treated like a doormat, I was always a people pleaser and if I said no to something I felt like I was letting people down. 

I never expressed how I truly felt and hid my emotions and feelings to appear strong and not be weak or vulnerable. I was constantly striving for something, but nothing was ever good enough and nothing bought me a huge sense of fulfilment anymore.

I was always ready to help others but never afforded myself the same time, kindness and compassion. I can see this all now with hindsight, I placed such importance on what others would think of me and I thought that success was measured in terms of my career and ambition and money I earnt. But I was burnt out, overwhelmed and miserable. I gave so much to help other people and felt like no one was there for me when I needed help. I was constantly being disappointed by others and I often felt annoyed, bitter and angry as my pain grew worse so did my emotional negativity. This started to affect the close relationships I had with others.

My doctor and family members who had gone through the operation informed me of the physical aspects of what to expect, but no one tells you of the potential risks and the huge emotional impact it will have.

After my hysterectomy not only had I had half my insides removed, but my womanhood was in question. I had become infertile and although I had never felt the urge to have children, the option had been violently taken away from me. I felt like I was less of a woman, worthless and useless and the surgery left me feeling a huge sense of loss and a sense of grief as well as guilt. That I had let myself get to this stage, I felt like I had vanished into dark abyss and I did not know how to get out of it or if I even wanted to crawl out of it.  I was still too ashamed to talk about it all.

I never really understood the term ‘mental health’ before all this happened, I now know how important mental well-being is for every single one of us.

Lao Tzu -

Mastering others is strength,

Mastering yourself is true power

How I felt after having my life coach:

My mind set completely changed once I started to look at my life and the trauma through a different perspective, through changing my attitude and my thinking there was a huge improvement in my physical and mental state.

Without my life coach her I would not have been able to overcome so many of the physical elements as well as emotional obstacles that I was putting in my own way.

She showed me how to value myself again, although I had been such a confident person my self-esteem was so low and I had little self-worth left. She believed in me and pushed me to delve deep into myself.

She showed me how to politely put-up boundaries and I learnt that I don’t have to live my life according to other people’s expectations.  Together we explored deeply what my needs and desires were, the introspection yielded remarkable results and I was astounded at the progress I made each week.

I truly believe positivity breeds more positivity. As soon as I started to change my mind set to a more positive outlook I felt more optimistic and it helped to alleviate some of my symptoms. I learnt to be honest about my situation and open up about my experience instead of feeling ashamed. This made me feel liberated and empowered and I started to help many other women feel inspired and powerful too. I showed women what counts is what you think of yourself first and foremost. We do not need to constantly seek validation from others.

My inner critic was such a harsh judgment of myself. I could show compassion and kindness so easily to others and yet was so hard on myself. I can now be the best version of me in order to help others. 

My life coach showed me how much strength it takes to talk about emotions and feelings instead of ignoring them. For the first time in my life I expressed my pain and my fears and my true emotions instead of hiding them and brushing them under the carpet.

I have learnt how to accept and process my feelings. This has helped me so much this year as I sadly lost my beloved father recently.

If I hadn’t had the life coaching I would not be able to deal with the emotions of grief right now, not only the consequence of my hysterectomy but also of losing my father.

I tried so many different methods of healing from counselling to tapping to breath work and meditation as well as affirmations and journaling. These have all helped but it was my amazing life coach and doing the 12 week programme that really helped me out of my despair and desolation.

I started to see the benefits of life coaching straight away. I learnt to live in the present moment and made me realise that trying to control everything is just exhausting, we can only control our own actions and thoughts and behaviour. We cannot guess what others are thinking, nor how they will behave, feel or react.

I realise now that taking true time for myself is not a luxury, self-care is not selfish. Even when I used to be on holiday I would be working and looking to fill the time with activities. I have given myself the time to recover from my surgery, or heal the emotional scars, to forgive myself and others and to truly find what makes me happy. 

If I am myself in a peak energised state then I am ready to help others in a much more authentic and dynamic filled manner. Thanks to coaching I have put better habits into place to alleviate my pain and have managed to find a better work life balance as well as improve the relationships in my life that are important to me.

After my operation I thought I was weak but I found out how much strength it took to keep on going. I was determined in the face of resistance to continue on my journey, fulfil my dreams, look after myself and help others. My healing journey has been a long one but walking this path has made me stronger in so many different ways. Success for me now means taking care of myself and being true to myself and those around me and to help other women as much as I possibly can.

I have learnt to forgive, move on from the past and most importantly I have discovered how to believe in myself again. I now listen to my body and have become more intuitive as to what my needs are and can voice them without feeling guilty or ashamed. I feel like I have come back to myself and found the courage, joy and enthusiasm that I thought I had lost forever.

I do not wish any of these horrific experiences that I had on any other woman anywhere. If I can make your life better then it’s all been worth it. The most positive take away that I have gained from this whole experience is that I can coach other women to make the changes in their lives that will benefit them.

Today I still live with stage 4 endometriosis, but I can feel full of abundance and feel like I am living a life of greater purpose, success, freedom and prosperity and I can help you achieve the same.

I have had the privilege to have a supportive network around me but many women suffer in silence all alone. We think that we should not even mention the words ‘period’ or menopause’ and consequently these matters are only coming to the forefront now. 

I sincerely feel that men must be part of the discussion too. I have been lucky to be able to communicate with the marvellous men in my life. I have had a formidable father, brilliant brothers and a loving partner who have all been supportive without judgement. They respect and celebrate women and have supported us through each challenge and trial and tribulation.

If it had not also been for the wonderful women in my life and all their care I would not have been able to survive the traumatic surgery I went through.

I have been privileged to have remarkable grandmothers, such pillars of strength, my fearless- spirited and spiritual mother, amazing aunts, soulful sister as well as supportive sister-in laws.

My brilliant best friend and incredible life coach have also inspired me and they all continue to do so, we lift each other up because women coming together generate an unstoppable force and power.

My beloved JJ has been a beacon of hope, a source of love, life and light amidst my darkest days. 

I know my trauma and experience has already helped so many women and through my coaching I hope to help many more. I became certified not only as a transformational life coach but also in female empowerment, NLP, reflexology and aromatherapy. I use all these holistic and embodiment techniques alongside with my coaching programme.

In the words of Edmund Hilary when climbing Mt Everest, ‘ It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.’

My message to you is please do not suffer in silence alone, do not let your relationships with families and your partner deteriorate. Do not let your professional ambitions for work suffer. Do not always put yourself last, do not feel guilty or selfish for taking time out for yourself. Do not let other women continue to live in pain.

It is possible to lead an active life and do the things you love and enjoy instead of feeling exhausted and frustrated and debilitated. 

Give hope and encouragement to your daughters, mothers, aunts, sisters, wives, partners, friends and colleagues. 

I have helped many amazing women be on their path to self-discovery and self-love, let me help you achieve the amazing things that you want and deserve.

Aarti Khurana -

Always remember that behind every strong and independent woman,

There were days when she was alone and helpless.

There are lessons she has learned from life

And there are stories of battles and

Struggles which she has fought alone.

Beneath the shield of confidence and strength

There is a plethora of sadness and pain which she has endured