Hello, I’m Aliya!
I’m the founder and creator of Sublime-Self
These techniques and therapies have all helped me in my own healing process not just to heal my body but equally my mind and spirit as well as helping to nourish my soul. I realised throughout my healing journey that treating the physical symptoms of my endometriosis was only part of the process and it was not enough for me to feel truly whole again. Incorporating coaching with holistic and alternative therapies helped me to connect deeper with myself and therefore make the necessary changes needed in order for me to manage my symptoms and come to terms with my trauma and living with a debilitating disease.
I am a certified elite transformational life coach. I am also certified in neuro linguistic programming and female empowerment as well as reflexology and aromatherapy.
I feel we often need to find the root cause of the issue instead of treating symptoms as one individual problem that is disconnected from the rest of ourselves.
As the renowned Dr Gabor Maté says,
The essence of trauma is disconnection... So the real question is: How did we get separated and how do we connect?
When you shut down emotion, you are also affecting your immune system, your nervous system.
So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on.
I was born and brought up in London and my roots are Indian. I have always had a passion for travelling and so I studied French at university and spent one year at the Sorbonne in Paris,
After finishing my degree, I moved to Barcelona to teach English and learn Spanish.
I spent many years working in Education and Tourism which allowed me the privilege to travel all over the world and work with and meet amazing people.
It was always my dream to return to Paris and I was fortunate to have an opportunity to live and work in Paris which I have done for the last 17 years.
I had an amazingly successful career with a multinational company and have loved working in such an international environment across the globe.
“I am a certified transformational life coach and my passion has always been to help people.”
— Aliya Jivraj, Founder
A few words about how my coaching can support your health and well-being when suffering with menopause, endometriosis, painful periods or having a hysterectomy.
Despite having an incredible profession, supportive & loving family and so many friends I always felt there was something lacking, and I did not feel wholly fulfilled.
It was not until I had a burn out and my body shut down and I reached breaking point that I realised I had focused on everything and everyone else but myself.
I suffered from painful periods from an early age for over 20 years. Each time I saw a doctor they told me it was normal to be suffering in such a terrible way. To be bed bound for several days each month in such pain that I could not move.
After battling with my GP for several years I was eventually sent for an ultra sound scan and was told that I suffered from polycystic ovaries and a major hormone imbalance.
The only solution at the time the GP offered was to put me on the combined pill which would regulate my periods and help ease the debilitating pain I was constantly in. Nevertheless Doctors never investigated further despite me seeing various Gynaecologists.
My symptoms then gradually got worse over time, and I had to take pain killers all the time just in order to go to work and function. I could not tell my family, friends or work colleagues that I was suffering such an unbearable amount of agony. I felt so ashamed and alone, I then consequently focused on my career and catering to others so that I did not have to admit how much pain I was in myself.
Where did things go wrong?
I then developed more cysts and large fibroids in the uterus which completely depleted me and after 3 months of constant blood loss my body just totally shut down. My body had abandoned me I felt like I had abandoned myself, I felt like a total and utter failure in so many different aspects.
I eventually had to have a hysterectomy but was never prepared for the traumatic consequences that would ensue from the operation, the physical as well as emotional trauma.
It was during the surgery that doctors found I had stage 4 endometriosis. After waking up from the complex surgery I was told that I had endometriosis and it could not be all cut out as it was affecting some of my other organs. I was in total shock, I thought that having major surgery would end all those years of pain and suffering, unfortunately this was not to be the case. I was feeling a sense of grief and loss and despair all at once.
“I wanted to give up hope as I could not see the point of living anymore. ”
— Aliya Jivraj
After The Surgery …
I was moved to another hospital as I developed a major infection during the surgery which ensued in a lot of blood loss, I had to have 3 blood transfusions not to mention so many blood tests, CT scans and much more. I was in so much agony that never in my life have I wanted to give up hope but I could not see the point of living anymore.
Thankfully I have such a supportive family and partner who managed to help me through it all but there was only so much they could do, this was all during the fist year of covid so no visitors were allowed in the hospital, I felt so alone and despondent, I had nothing left to give.
Then a lady in the same ward as me in the hospital started choking, I pressed the call button but no nurse or doctor came so I tried to get out of bed to help her. My pain was so bad that I thought my stitches were going to burst when I moved.
I got half way when thankfully the nurse came and the lady was saved. However I was surrounded by several elderly women on their deathbeds which exacerbated the trauma that I was already feeling.
“I felt dejected, demoralised, disheartened and depressed”
— Aliya Jivraj
I then started to picture my late grandmother who I was so close to, she passed away from ovarian cancer far too early. She was never diagnosed with her ovarian cancer until it was too late. I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I felt dejected, demoralised, disheartened and depressed and I just thought I want to see her again, I missed her so very much.
At that point I started to think about all the adversity that she had faced through her life time and how she had handled everything with such grace and dignity. Even during her chemotherapy treatments she never complained despite the pain.
I struggled and tried to find some inner strength, whatever I had left inside to me, mentally as well as physically. I then managed to talk to the doctor and voice my concerns, I was ready to discharge myself from the hospital just to escape the horror show of this horrific, hideous, nightmare!
“The whole experience left physical scars as well as many emotional scars.”
— Aliya Jivraj
I was bed bound for 3 months, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t even wash myself. I suffered from night sweats, insomnia, stomach cramping, nausea and vomiting episodes.
The emotional scarring has lasted a lot longer.
“I was so angry and upset that I had lost half of my insides including my ovaries but on top of that I now had to live with endometriosis.”
— Aliya Jivraj
I’m not the only one.
After 20 years of trying to be heard no doctor listened to me and no one ever investigated the possibility of this disease. I now know that I am not the only one, so many women feel alone and ashamed and are shunted away saying that the pain is common when it clearly is not normal. I was made to feel worthless and like I was exaggerating the pain. I always knew there was something more to my suffering than just period pain.
I am still saddened at the fact that today women have to wait 7-8 years to get a diagnosis for endometriosis.
I wish that in those 20 years I had the courage to speak up more and listen to my body.
After my hysterectomy I went into a surgical menopause. My doctor gave me HRT to manage the symptoms and to keep the endometriosis at bay but I had various allergic reactions to them all. Neither my surgeon nor my GP helped in anyway despite me asking several times for a consultation as to what I should do. I felt the anger, fury and frustration rise up in me like an erupting volcano, thinking why am I being subjected to yet more pain? It was just never ending, I could not understand why there was no help readily available, especially on the subject of menopause. My mother and aunt had luckily explained some of the symptoms to me but never could I have imagined how bad the symptoms would be. I had to muster up the energy and courage to again research myself how best I should proceed.
It’s how we react to the adversity that makes or breaks us.
Due to the hysterectomy and the endometriosis left inside I had to have a combination of HRT treatment with oestrogen and progesterone. Subsequently I found a wonderful doctor who I could talk to and who was compassionate and reassured me. I still live with Stage 4 endometriosis today and can thankfully lead a fulfilled and enriching life.
However for many women this is not the case, they are told that they are making up their symptoms or that it is all in their heads, especially with a disease like endometriosis. The physical symptoms do not necessarily manifest outwards so people do not think you are in pain or suffering. I am so grateful that I have managed to find an amazing doctor and that I can now communicate in a clear way to my family and friends and work colleagues, much of this is thanks to the incredible coach I had myself.
Life throws so many unexpected things at us and it’s how we react to the adversity that makes or breaks us.
We can give up all hope or we can choose to carry on, not just striving but thriving in this crazy world and see the beauty that has been gifted to us. I have learnt to appreciate the simplest things in life now and live in the present instead of constantly worrying what the future holds. I have gained certifications not only in transformational life coaching but also in aromatherapy, reflexology, NLP and female empowerment, all these helped me with my own journey and I want to help you with yours.
Life is constantly evolving so we must continuously adapt. We all need tools to help us adjust and deal with life’s constant challenges.
Many of us women are always putting the needs of others before ourselves. We think we are never doing enough, we constantly feel guilty for not being enough.
I am here to help you, let’s break these taboos together, let’s make every woman see how wonderful they are and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s not be ashamed to have discussions about issues that are part of everyday life, we must build awareness together so we can create a safer space for a future generation of women. Be the role model you want to be for the girls and ladies in your families and friend’s circle and work life. Show other females that they do not have to suffer in silence and just grin and bear things. Make the men in your lives part of the discussion to build awareness. There is a better way to lead a happier and fulfilled life, let me show you through my 12 week transformational life coaching programme.
